You Know You’re A Coloradan When…

50 thoughts on how life looks different through a ski town lens

This article was originally published in See What I See, the blog of CMC BSBA student Ali Gringras.  We’re sharing the piece during finals week with the hope it will bring a smile of recognition to many!

You know you’re a true Coloradan if…

1. It snows 12 inches and you don’t expect anything to be cancelled.
2. You know who Ullr is.
3. You have to get a new windshield once a year and have snow tires year-round.
4. You would rather be freezing outside all day than sitting inside, and think it’s morally wrong to not enjoy a beautiful day.
5. You think people that don’t participate in outdoor activities are weird.
6. You think it’s hilarious that people in other states waste their time cutting their lawn, blowing leaves, and plowing 3 inches of snow off their driveway.
7. You have no accent at all, but can hear other people’s and make fun of them.
8. Your sense of direction is based off what ski resort you’re driving towards.
9. Going to the gym, yoga, etc are to get better at your regular activities, not be your regular activities.
10. You think that May is a totally normal month for a blizzard, and getting stranded because I-70 closed is put into your weekend schedule by default.
11. When someone says “it’s going to be a fun year,” you know they actually mean the span of time between the first resort opening and the last resort closing.
12. Halloween is during the winter, not fall.
13. There are three seasons: The Season, Not-The-Season, and Mud Season.
14. You know that also means: Jobs, Some Jobs, and No Jobs.
15. You think Urgent Care is for people who hurt themselves and feel weird about going when you’re sick.
16. 75% of your friends live in a different house every season.
17. The most important thing when choosing a new house is how close it is to the mountain, how many people you can hold, and how cheap the security deposit is knowing you’re going to lose it.
18. If you’re originally from another state, you’re ashamed to admit it.
19. A goggle tan is a status symbol.
20. You don’t put the bar down and you spend the entire chairlift ride silently hating whoever did.
21. You know what the Continental Divide is.
22. You have at least two friends who have or have attempted their own hat-knitting or sweatshirt-making company.
23. You prefer to work Thur-Sun and have off Tue/Wed.
24. You ask other locals their home resort before you ask them what town.
25. You’ve gone off-roading in a vehicle that was never intended for such activities.
26. You go out and live in the wild without internet or cell phone service for fun.
27. You always know the elevation of where you are and anything below 8,000ft is low elevation.
28. You know what dog belongs to what local store and find it shocking or confusing when you see “no dogs allowed” signs.
29. If you live in a resort town you’re lucky to have two year-round neighbors.
30. You’ll stomp and destroy an invasive flower plant, even if it’s in front of tourists in a public place or in another persons yard.
31. You actually know that South Park is a real place, you’ve been there, and you catch all the Colorado-references on the show.
32. You know that Aspen looks nothing like the scenery on the movie “Dumb and Dumber” and it was actually filmed in Summit County.
33. You would rather get pulled over by a cop on the road than by the Forest Service patrol on the trails.
34. You base someone’s driving ability by what state is on their license plate.
35. Ski and snowboard instructors are not professional skiers and snowboarders.
36. You wonder what the heck people in the South and Midwest do for fun.
37. If a website doesn’t tell you how its packages are delivered you can forget about getting it.
38. You know what a “Trust Fund Baby” is, and you know its natural habitat is Aspen, Crested Butte, and Telluride.
39. You avoid the white ribbons of death and rocky backcountry during pre-season.
40. The yellow parking lines in parking lots are completely irrelevant.
41. You hate ski racks at night because they make every car look like a cop car.
42. You believe that “Gaper” and “Tourist” are actually ethnicity’s, and that they generally come from Texas and Overseas.
43. You think jackets are for skiing and sweatshirts are for daily winter activities.
44. You drive with your brights on before it’s even dark during migration season, but you feel like you don’t even need headlights in the winter when the moon is out.
45. You know that there’s no point in scraping your car off after a snow storm when you can open and close your door for the same result.
46. You base your entire years plans on whether it’s going to be a La Nina or El Nino season.
47. “Humid” is over 25% and you think the only other state this dry is Arizona.
48. Even if you had important plans, you’re slightly depressed when you wake up and realize there’s not enough new snow to alter your daily routine.
49. You know that the ones who complain about “tourists and gapers” all season are always non-native, new, seasonal ski bums from the Midwest.
50. You laugh at people who are “fishing” in any water source visible from a road.